Insult from Injury

So, anyone who grew up in the 80s (particularly those of us who watched too many movies) knows that the insult, “Douche Bag”, has been around for a good long while now. Surely you must have also noticed the strong resurgence of the word douche in pop culture over the last couple of years.

Here’s why I, Nile Nash, midwife and feminist, think that calling someone a DOUCHE is truly a great insult.

A douche is basically a vaginal wash, usually containing just water. Sometimes the vaginal douche is marketed with perfumes, taking it to the next level of offense.

Many years, tons of money, and loads of misinformation have conspired to convince women that their vajayjay is dirty and stinky and in need of some expensive product to help them smell laundry fresh. But the truth is that the vagina is a self-cleaning system. The balance in the vagina of pH levels and natural flora keep the environment functioning with optimal health. The minute you start forcefully squirting perfume or even just water up in there the natural balance is thrown off, opening you up to all kinds of potential imbalances like yeast infections and the like.

I have a great deal of respect for the vagina–that beautiful, unique flower that brings us pleasure and allows the passage of babies into the world. I also know that Mother Nature is extremely wise and she neither designs imperfections nor wastes energy on useless things. Keep in mind that vaginal discharge is pH balance for a woman’s monthly cycle and keeps her both clean and lubricated.

Thus, a device that throws off a woman’s body, opens her up to microbial injury, undermines her confidence in her own sexy scent, and profits on her insecurity is a terrible thing indeed. Whether you made the connection or not, you should know that referring to someone as a douche is a terrific insult. Great choice.

Community of Gravel & Gold, don’t be douche bags. Protect women’s vaginas and the legacy of 80s B movies. Spread the word that the actual douche should be used with caution (i.e. not at all) but the verbal insult should be used liberally for offensively awful and inappropriate things.


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